Early Christmas!

Today I had some time and I got me an early christmas present. I am so excited about it too. It is a new cell phone, the Droid 2. I needed a new calendar because my Palm pilot is wearing out and I really did not want to go back to a paper calendar. I have been playing with my new toy for a few hours and now realize that it is going to take me a while to figure it out, but I am having lots of fun with it!

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New Friends

It is not always easy making new friends. I am an extrovert, and have lots of friends, but mostly I keep people at arms length. I don't like to get real personal with people. I am learning that there are only a couple of people who "really know me". Anyway, a couple of months ago a new pastor at our church introduced us to a man and his son. Instantly my husband and him seemed to hit it off. Shortly after that we met his wife and daughter. In just a short time our lives have changed and it is a blessing to watch. My oldest son is very interested in our new friends, and references them often. See, the man we met is deaf, and therefore makes it a challenge for us to communicate with him. However, God is moving our family in ways that I could have never imagined. We have begun to learn sign language, and I must say, I am impatient. I am enjoying getting to know this family, and I really wish that I could sign. His wife is hearing, which makes it a little easier, but it frustrates me when I am not able to talk with him. Anyway, it is really neat watching this relationship develop and watch as God moves in our family. All 3 of our kids are enjoying learning sign language, and one day, we will be able to carry on a conversation with this new friend of ours. So, to my new friends, what a blessing you are to us in so many different ways that I can't even put them into words. I look forward to getting to know you all more and learning more signs too! Thank you for being patient with us as we learn :)

Super Hero Powers

My 3 year old is priceless. Lately we have been watching Curious George in my bed before we start they day. This morning he says to me "Mom, I am thirsty". I say "can you wait a few minutes until the show is over?" He says, "no Mom, I need water so I can have more super hero powers and it can't wait!" I must say that all of this conversation happened over a commercial, and right when I was getting up to get him some water, because he has to have his super hero powers, Curious George came back on and he no longer needed his water. What a blessing he is! I never thought of water giving us super hero powers, but I have a friend who has been encouraging me to drink more water. All I can say is that if I would have known that I would have special powers from drinking water, I would have been drinking more of it! It also got me thinking about the Living Water that we need. I am thankful that I have that to drink and to quench my thirst, because I do not know how I would survive with out my Jesus!

First times...

It is easy to forget what it was like when really started to understand what Christmas was exactly. When your parents would bring out the tree and start to decorate it, how exciting that was just because you knew that it something exciting was going to come. Then, when it was all done, we would turn the lights off and just look at our masterpiece twinkling and sparkling, and giggle with excitement. As the days went on and the end of the month would get closer, I would begin to get even more excited, just wondering what exactly I would be getting under the tree on Christmas morning. Finally, it was Christmas eve! We would get through the day, then go to church, and then it really hit..... Santa was coming!!!!! Christmas eve night always seemed like such a long night to me. The excitement and anticipation would be more than I could handle sometimes. I am sure over the next month I will share more stories with you, but tonight it is all about my kids. Mostly about my youngest, little E. He is 3 and he is so excited about Christmas he is about to bust. Today after church we were walking through Walmart and "Santa" was walking down the isle. Little E just got so excited that he ran up to him and gave him a big hug. This is huge for him because he does not just go up to anyone, but for some reason, this year, he is really into Santa. Later we saw him in the back of the store and he sat on his lap and just smiled. It was precious! All little E wants for Christmas is a new choo choo (he is very into Thomas the train) and that is all he is talking about too. Little E keeps adding to his story about what is going to happen during this Christmas season, and I am loving his story each and every time too. He gets so excited ever time we talk about it, or watch a movie about it. He is starting to get that he will get presents on Christmas morning and I think I am more excited to see his face than anything. He was telling me today that he is not really going to go to sleep, but fake it so he can get up right away and get his presents. I don't know how this year is going to play out completely yet, but I do know this much, it has been such a blessing to watch him discover this holiday. It has also been neat to listen to my older two explain what is going to happen, and tell him that Jesus is really the reason for Christmas and how all of it makes Christmas special!

blah...

This week has just been blah. It is now 3am and I am wide awake! So, here I am on my computer thinking of something to write and wishing I could get to sleep. Tonight was a great night to end this week with. I was blessed to be able to have dinner with my Mom and finish up my Christmas shopping. Well, I still have some dollar things to put in the stockings, but other than that I think I am finally done! While I was out, my hubby and kids put up our tree. It looks so good! I think I am finally getting excited about Christmas.... finally! My goal now is to have everything wrapped by the weekend before Christmas so that I can sit back and enjoy every day of the holiday season, and celebrate the real meaning of Christmas... JESUS!!!!

Friends :)

I am so thankful that the Lord gave us friends. They are always there when you need them, and when you think you don't need them. The older I get, the more I am learning about myself. One of the things I am learning is that when things get really difficult for me, or there is something going on in my life that is really tough for me I shut myself off from everyone. I don't get depressed, but I don't really share anything with anyone and try to "work it out" on my own. Well, that is not working anymore and the Lord is using my friends to show me this. He is revealing things to my friends and they are asking me about them and they don't even know it. I can say this much, I am so very thankful for each and every one of you! You are so very precious to me. "Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul." Proverbs 27:9 To you, my dear friends, thank you for refreshing my soul and helping me get back on track. For showing me that you can be trusted and that you love me. I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!

Pumpkin Seeds :)

I love pumpkin seeds. I love getting big pumpkins, scooping out the slimy seeds, washing them off and baking them. Most of all, I love eating them! This year the kids helped me with all of it. Little E loved getting his hands wet and playing with the slimy seeds in the water. He had water everywhere and was really upset when we were done. J and T loved scooping them out of the pumpkin. I tried a different way of baking them this year and I think I found a new way. I dried all the seeds before I baked them. Then covered them with some butter and salt and then baked them until they were golden brown. Yummy! These were the best seeds I have made in a long time. I have 2 more pumpkins to cut into and I can't wait. They are a special pumpkin that is not supposed to have the shell of the seed on them, just the seeds. They are used in making oils, but are really good to eat the seeds too. I cannot wait to try them. I am also going to attempt to make my first pumpkin pie completely from scratch. I have a couple of pumpkins that are good for baking, so I am hoping to get to that here in the next few days. I love this time of year and can't wait to try my new pumpkins!

Competitions

As a kid I participated in several different competitions between band and 4-H. Each one was different depending on if it was individual, as a team, or on a horse. I am sure I was nervous, but honestly that is not what I remember now as an adult. I remember being confident in what I was doing and doing the best I could do. I remember my parents were always there cheering me on, and supporting me whether I did good or not so good. They are great memories. Now, I am a Mom and it is completely different being the one in the stands watching my child competing in something. I am learning things about myself that I did not realize. Just one more area for the Lord to teach me about and show me how to handle my thoughts, words and actions.

Okay, now for the reason this all has come up. Saturday was my daughters first trampoline and tumbling competition. She did great! She was so nervous, but went out there and did her best. Honestly, I think her performance was the best I have seen her do so far! First she did the rod floor. This is where she does two passes, a front roll pass and a back roll pass. Out of 9 girls, she got 3rd place!



Second she did the double mini. This is a small trampoline where she runs up to it and jumps on it 3 times before she lands on the floor. She has two passes where she does tucks on one pass and straddles on the other one. Out of 10 girls, she got 2nd place!

The last event was on the trampoline, where she has a routine that she performs. It is hard to explain, but out of 9 girls, she got 3rd place! I am just so proud of her. She looked so cute in her outfit, and just lit up when she got her trophy. Her next competition is in December and I can't wait for it! Watching her compete and do such a great job makes it so easier for me to go and work hard selling food at a Blue Jackets game to earn money for her fees. Princess, I love you and keep up the good work!

Struggles

For many years now I have struggled with my weight. It started when I began infertility treatments and has been a never ending battle since then. It is not something I am proud of, nor something I want to pass onto my children. More and more the Lord is showing me that the kids are eating what I am eating, and that is not good. I do not want them to be overweight or learn bad habits from me. So, He showed me a bible study that is geared to changing the way I think about food and helping me to focus more on Him. In the past 2 months, I have started over twice because I have just not been focused or really wanted to. Well, it is time for the change to happen. I need to do it because He told me to do it. There is no longer an option. He has given me what I need and now if I don't do it I will be in disobedience. Well, I don't want to be there so tomorrow I am starting over again on day 1. I am going to be dedicated and not beat myself up if I have struggles. I am going to do the best I possibly can and completely rely and turn it all over the Christ, because I can do all things because Christ is my strength. I am sharing this on here because I need to be more transparent and open in my life. I know I am not alone in my struggles with the sin of gluttony. I want my life and testimony to be an encouragement and maybe even a motivation to someone. I will post my journey with on here, the goods, the bads and the uglies. In doing this, as the Lord leads you, I ask that you would pray for me. This is not an easy thing to do, but with His strength, I can do it! Thank You Lord for such great friends to help me through this journey. Thank You Lord for loving me so much that You won't leave me where I am at. I want to be a living testimony to You and I WILL give You ALL the praise and glory!

Growing up

My daughter is getting so big. She is on a trampoline and tumbling team and her first competition is this Saturday. She does not really understand what is going to go on, but I do. I am so excited for her. She has been practicing since March and has improved so much. Her leotard has not come in yet, so we are borrowing one from one of her team mates that has one they out grew. She tried it on today and she looks so cute and grown up all at the same time. I cannot wait to take pictures of her on Saturday so I can post them for you to see. I am so proud of her! I love you my dear, sweet baby girl. Don't grow up too fast for mommy!

following...

Well, so many thoughts.... where to start? I have to say that God is so amazing! I have been praying for a schedule and a routine for a while now. I did not realize how much I needed one. Well, one day I was sitting here, frustrated and He began to show me how my day should be going and how to plan it out. I got a piece of paper and began writing it down. He totally gave me a routine for my day, from the time I need to get up to the time to go to bed. When to teach school, when to do work around the house, when to play with the kids, all of it. It is so cool! Now, I just need to kick my butt in gear and follow it. What He is showing me now is that I have no more excuses. He has given me what I need, now I need to follow it. So, I am making no promises, but I am asking for His strength and desire to follow it. I am not beating myself up when I don't follow it, but those days are not the best days for us, so I really want to follow it. I figure He is the One who gave it to me, so He is the only One who can help me follow it! Thank You Lord for loving me so much!

Prayers please!

I have so many thoughts running through my head right now that I don't even know how to start this. I hate how the enemy can just slip in and take what was a great day and totally change things around. My heart is very heavy tonight and I am fighting fear, but I know that greater is He that is with me than he that is in the world. I had a great day with my family today, which I will share with you in another post. Right now I must confess that as the night came to a close we dropped of a very dear little friend of ours. There was a comment made by someone at their door and I have been having a very hard time dealing with it. I know this is not easy to follow, but for right now I am not able to share all of the details. I guess, right now, I am asking for prayer from you. I need you to step up for me and pray as the Lord leads you for the next 3 days. My husband and I are going to be talking with this family on Wednesday evening and I am just having a very hard time with it. I am battling fear and trying not to let it win, but I must say that I am not doing very good with it. This is something that is very near and dear to my heart. I am trying with everything in me to hold onto promises that the Lord gave to me a couple years ago, but I am struggling. I am trying to turn my thoughts and emotions over each and every time they overwhelm me. Please, if you will, pray for me. I would greatly appreciate it, more than you know!

Kids :)

We had my nephew and a little girl spend the night last night. So we had 5 kids in our home last night and it was full of excitement! We went on a hike at a park and made some smores there too. We figured we would load them up with load them up with sugar then take a 2 mile hike to burn it off. It worked too! Came home, showered them down, got in their pajamas and watched a movie. They were nice and tired for bed so no rough playing while they were in their rooms. Today has been another adventure! It has been very interesting watching them all play today. We had some inside play time and some outside play time in the pool. My nephew and our little girl friend are both "only" children, so they don't always know how to play with other kids, if that makes sense. The really interesting part is the little girl lives with her "Grandparents" who are 87 & 91. It is fun watching her transform into a little girl. Today they broke out in dance as we finished a movie. Now they are pretending to be zoo animals and are crawling around on the floor making very unusual sounds as they are trying to escape from the zoo. Time with kids seems to go so very fast, so it has been such a precious time watching and enjoying these children play together in my house. I can't wait for the next time!

Keep finding more...

Well, this morning I need to vent a little bit. I need to release this frustruation somewhere so today, it is going here. There are times that you get work done on your house and things go so easy that you are thrilled. This is not one of those stories. About 3 or 4 months ago a storm came through here with some heavy hail. We were one of the fortunate ones to have damage to our house, our siding to be more specific. So it begins, we call the insurance company and they come out to estimate the damage and quote us a price. We got more than we thought but not as much as we needed to replace the siding on the entire house. So we hired a contractor to do the work, signed the contract and then waited for it to begin. And we waited, and we waited. Finally, about 3 weeks ago, they came! They brought the siding out to our back yard on a tuesday and we were told that they guys were going to start on the house the very next day. They did too! However, there were only 2 guys working on our house. So, by friday, they had only finished one side of the house and began working on another side, but were not going to be completed by the end of the day. Week 1 done. Monday morning came and they came back, and worked hard every day that week. By friday they were done with 3 sides of the house. Week 2 done. Monday morning came again, and they came to the house to begin working on the back of the house... finally! After they tore all the siding off, they realized that they did not have enough siding to finish the job. They finished what they could and left. Oh, I should say, they did not leave this night until almost 9pm. Tuesday, no workers. Wednesday, no workers. Thursday we were finally told that they had to order more siding and it would be there Friday morning. Oh, after we called the contractor to get on him that it was taking WAY TOO LONG! So, Friday morning came, and workers came and began to finish the back of the house. I would like to tell you that they got it done, but I cannot. Week 3 done. Now, we enter week 4 and monday the come and actually finish the job. Well, the siding that is. The gutters should be here by friday, we were told. Yes, thats right, they still are not done. Now here is the exciting part. We have been keeping the kids inside for this entire time because they are in the back yard and they cannot play because of all of the equipment and nails, which are still there! Also, we have been working on the inside of our house, painting walls, fixing up things, putting in a back splash in the kitchen. Now, we get to go around and fix all the damage that was caused by them banging on our siding so hard that it knocked dry wall nails out of the dry wall. Yes, it is true, I now get to put the nails back into the walls, patch them up and re-paint all of them. Some of the walls will just need touched up because I just painted them. One of the walls was still in good shape from when I painted it a couple years ago so I was not going to paint this wall. The catch is, now that a nail has come through it, I have to fix it and I don't have that same color of paint anymore, so I get to repaint the entire room. Oh, this is my bedroom too, so not looking forward to that at all. I guess it just seems like every time I enter into a room I find more damage that I have to fix from the workers. Lastnight, I went down into my basement to discover a huge leake somewhere. I think it was from the dishwasher, but am wondering if they knocked something loose? All I know is that I am very frustruated with this job and very much ready for them to go away and never see them again. Thanks for listening to my story. I feel better just getting it out there even though there is still much to do in my house!

Psalm 37:4-7a

"Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and our judgement as the noonday. Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him." This is where I am at right now and I wanted to share the verses that is ministering to me. Psalm 37:4 is a verse I have held on to for about 8 years. It is a promise that the Lord gave to me and He has been fulfilling it in various ways for the past 6 years. He is not finished yet, and it is overwhelming and amazing all in one breath. I don't want to make any moves or decisions with out hearing from Him first, so I am resting patiently for Him!

Random thoughts...

I have several things running through my mind tonight as I sit here thinking about what to write. I have been praying that the Lord would give me dreams for some time now. Not silly ones, but ones that mean something to someone, or to me. Well, last night He gave me one! Although, I am not able to share the details, I can say that not only did He give me the dream, He gave me the meaning of it too! I don't completely understand it, but I am excited none the less and can't wait to see the final results. Mostly, I am just excited to have just one more way that the Lord speaks to me. I don't know about you, but sometimes I question if I really do hear from the Lord or if He even speaks to me. I know He does, but sometimes I listen to the enemy too much and then begin to believe the lies that he plants in my head that I don't hear Him and He is not speaking to me. Anyway, I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to keep on pressing in and hang in there. He is listening to you even if you don't "feel" like He is. He loves you and you are His favorite!

Kids...

Kids are so precious. Sometimes you forget just how much they have changed, or grown up. Today I had the privilege of braiding a new friends daughters hair. She did a great job for a 5 year old. It reminded me of when we first got Joyona and how hard it was to get her hair done. All of the emotions we had in the beginning are now just grunts and groans. Joyona has come such a long way and is turning into such a beautiful young woman so fast. She is also starting to really get "into" boys, so we have begun talking about what that means. So not ready for that yet!!!

Tra, well his stitches are out and he is back into being a high speed little boy! We still keep a band aid on it because it is still healing, but he is thrilled to be able to play again and take a bath. He did not like taking showers at all!

Elijah, well he really wants to pee in the potty. His head does anyway. His favorite movie to watch right now other than Thomas the train is Elmo's potty training video. He loves the idea of pulling up and down his pull up, however the rest of his body has not gotten in sink yet. They are all so precious and they are growing up so fast. I thought I would share a brief update on what is going on here in our house right now

Birthdays!

January not only starts the new year, but it also starts the beginning of birthdays for our family. Our daughters birthday is January 27th and she turned 8 this year. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that she is my big girl now and not my little girl anymore. She wants to wear her hair differently and wear more grown up clothes. She really wants to wear a bra, but I am not ready to go there. Next she will be asking me to shave her legs.... anyway, she is growing up so fast on me and she is turning into a beautiful young lady! February brings our next birthday, our youngest son turned 3 on February 14th. He is our valentines baby and boy does he know how to love his mommy! I love the way he says "mommy, love you" sometimes just for no reason. He is growing up really fast and each day it seems like he has new words that he is using that I did not hear the day before. He has definitely lost his "baby" look and is definitely into the toddler look. We get March off, and then comes April. My oldest son turned 6 on April 26th, and boy is he growing up so fast too! He learned to ride a 2 wheeler right before his birthday so we bought him a new bike. Unfortunately he has not been able to try it out because of his stitches, but he looks at it almost every day and can't wait to try it out next week. He is changing so much too as he now has lost all of that "little boy" look and now looks so much older to me. I feel so blessed to be called their mom, and humbled that the Lord would allow me to be their mother! I love you Joyona, Elijah and Tra!

Silly ;)

So many times times we share things we need help with, or we share personal things that we just need to get off of our chest. Sometimes we take some time to share something very personal about our self that only the closest of friends know about us. Well, this is not one of those times. Actually, this time, I am going to share something very silly about myself. Sometimes we just have to laugh at ourselves, and I laugh at myself daily! Tonight I was eating a late night snack of chex mix and realized that no matter what I am eating, I eat things in a certain way. For instance, I eat chex mix one thing at a time. I eat the pretzels, then I eat the bread sticks, and then I eat the chex cereal. I do not like the bagel chips so I throw them out. I eat every plate of food in a certain order and I don't like my food to touch each other. Mixed veggies and a salad are just about the only exception, unless it comes "made that way". I always eat my french fries before I eat the sandwich or pizza. I cannot eat fries and take a bite of other food, yuck! Oh, and I separate the colors of the M&M's and eat one color at a time, unless I am driving and can't separate them. Anyway, just a silly post about something that is very corky about me that I thought I would share. Feel free to share anything about you that is fun. I would love to hear it :)

A new adventure!

Yesterday I took my daughter to her trampoline and tumbling class and about 15 minutes into the class my darling husband called me. He informed me that Tra, our oldest son, cut himself with a pair of scissors on his knee and is not sure if it needs stitches. So, he had our neighbor look at it and she thought we should take him to the emergency room. So, Tim packed up our boys and headed over to the gym where I met them and took Tra to the emergency room. We checked in at 7pm and finally got to a room to be worked on at 9pm. Lets just say that Tra was great in the beginning. First a nurse walks in with a bag of goodies to help "entertain" him. Then in walks in the tech who is going to performing the cleaning and stitches, if he needs them. Well, they soon found out that he is pretty strong so they stopped and got reinforcements. We had to change rooms so that there could be people all around the table to help keep him secured. So, we entered our new room, and got Tra settled down, again. Then in walks one more nurse and the tech, with the plate of equipment needed to clean his wound and then stitch it up. Well, Tra was good until he saw the needle and he was so strong and fast that he pulled out the top of the needle where the medicine goes and the liquid went all over him, me and the table. Out went the tech and the extra nurse, so now it was just me, Tra and the entertainment nurse. We got him calmed down again and we got him to lay down and relax for a minute. Next, the door opened and in walks the tech and two more nurses. Now, we are ready for battle! The entertainment nurse and I were on the upper body and the other two nurses had one leg each. The tech worked fast, I was impressed. Tra, well lets just say that he did not like anyone in that room and was THRILLED when it was over! He did like the stitches when he was able to see them, and was even more excited that he got his first, very own bandage to wrap around the stitches. Because it is on his knee, he is not allowed to really bend his knee and definitely not allowed to do any rough playing or crawling on his knees. Thankfully, this should only last for 2 weeks, but for me it is going to be a long two weeks. Today Tra is doing good, but is in some pain. So, we went to the library and have some movies to watch and some Motrin to take for the pain. I can say that he does not want to play with scissors any more. Oh yeah, I guess I never did say how our trip began. Tra decided that he did not want any of the strings on the hole that was in the knee of his jeans, so he took a pair of scissors and tried to cut the strings off, like a knife. He removed the strings and got a one inch deep cut in his knee! These were child scissors for school, so today, all of the scissors are put up where not one child in my home knows where they are, and that includes the really big child ;). No more trips to the ER this week for me!

Hmmmm....

I would like to say that I am a dedicated blogger, but as you can see, I am not. There are so many things I want to say, but can never seem to find the time to put them down into words. In the past few months so many things have happened to me and my family that I am going to try my very best to share them with you. Honestly, the reason I have not put much down here is because I have been trying not to be too personal in my blog, but that just is not working for me anymore. Starting now I am going to be sharing all of my heart with you. I have realized that I am very guarded with my thoughts and sometimes the Lord wants me to share them. Here is a brief summary of what has happened and what is to come, along with anything new that comes along. My daughter turned 8, my youngest son turned 3, Belize, Midwest home school conference, and more I am sure that I can't remember. So, if you are interested in hearing more about my heart keep checking back! It should be pretty interesting stuff :)

Kids...

There is nothing really more to say. They are wonderful, and frustrating all in the same breath. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids!!!!! They can get my blood boiling sometimes. Here is my latest issue. I have 3 kids, 8, 5, and 3 year old (well he will be 3 on Sunday). The older two play together nicely, then in comes the 3 year old and boom, instant screaming and fighting! I am so tired of it and I just don't know what else to do about it anymore. I have tried so many different things that I don't know what else to try anymore. So, I am reaching out for some help or words of wisdom from anyone who reads this! The only thing is got is "this too shall pass"!

Belize!

I have the opportunity to go on a mission trip next month to Belize and I am so excited. There will be 13 of us going from March 10th to the 18th and it can't get here fast enough. We have the opportunity to equip and pray for the pastors there and local tribes around the facility we will be staying at. I was a little excited before my meeting, but now I can't even put it into words. It is coming so quickly and God is blessing me in so many ways. I am looking forward to sharing what the Lord is doing in my life through this experience. This is my first time out of the country and on a missions trip, and I think each day I am getting more excited about going. I am just honored that God would choose me to go and to use me in during this time to minister to His people there. Can't wait!!!!!

Faith Like Potatoes

It is a movie my husband and I watched last night after the kids went to bed. We have owned it since before Christmas and have never watched it until last night. It is a great movie! I am not going to tell you anything about it, but you should get it and watch it for yourself. It really challenged me and had me question where is my faith? It is in the Lord, but not like I want it to be that is for sure. I want to live my life with such faith that I am shocked if the Lord does not show up and move in mighty ways. I think sometimes the longer I have been a christian the more I forget. It is simple really, just take the time to spend with the Lord everyday, read His word and talk to Him like he is right beside you all the time and then let Him be in control of everything. I want to get back to that "child like faith" where everything is new and exciting and I am learning all the time. Like when my youngest saw the Christmas tree lights turn on, it was new and he was amazed! That is how I want my life to be. Each moment of my day to be fully dedicated to the Lord and watch in amazement as He moves in and through me. I want to have faith like potatoes!

So Fast...

Kids grow up so fast. One day they want to sit on your lap and cuddle, the next they want nothing to do with you. Well, not to that extreme, but something like that. My older two kids are in an art class on Friday mornings and they are becoming so independent. This morning they wanted me to just drop them off, because they are "old enough" to go in by them selves now that they are 8 and 5. I could watch them, but still, I guess I am not ready for them to do things on their own yet. I guess it is time for me to let go some and let them start doing more things on their own, like going into art class with out me walking them in. I guess I am still glad to have my youngest, who still wants to hold my hand when he gets out of the van, because he does not like being too far from me. I wish I would have cherished those memories more instead of just letting them go by. I am trying to stop more and just watch them as they are growing, because before I know it they are going to be out on their own. I am just so thankful that the Lord allowed me to have this time with them and to be their mom. What a blessing they are!

Fighting!

Today I am taking back what the enemy has stolen from me. He is fighting me with a cold and the Lord clearly revealed it to me. By His stripes I was completely healed Tuesday night after prayer from a friend, only to wake up to the same congestion and aches on Wednesday morning. The enemy is not letting go, but I am done bowing down to this sickness. Today, I am crushing him and no longer going to sit and watch him steal life from me or my family. It is past time for him to leave, and today I, through Jesus Christ, am kicking his sneaky little butt right out of our house and out of our bodies. No more asthma symptoms, no more congestion, no more coughing and no more infection because we have had enough! The enemy is no longer going to steal His Glory! Jesus has paid the price for me and my family, and we are no longer going to live like paupers. We are children of the Most High King, and we are going to begin to live like the royalty that we are! Thank you Jesus for paying the price for me to live free today, even though I did not deserve it, you died for me. You are the King of King and the Lord of Lords, and I will worship you with all that I am, and give You all the glory! Thank you for healing us Jesus!

My Focus?

This new year has been a strange year so far for me. My focus seems to be changing, and I am having a hard time keeping focused on any one task. Lets recap January... my youngest son had a double ear infection for over 3 weeks, with two different medications, and still has some congestion trying to escape his body. My oldest son has been healed of his asthma, but got a cold two weeks ago that gave him asthma symptoms and now has a cough that will not go away. My husband had an infection in root under a tooth in his mouth from an old root canal he had done over 15 years ago. He went to a specialist, got the infection cleared out and has to go back next week to get the cap replaced on the tooth. I have been dealing with a cough and congestion for over a month now and am on my second round of medications to clear it out. My daughter, praise the Lord, has not been touched by any sickness! Last week I found out that my 46 year old cousin died unexpectedly, and we are not sure why. Now, I share all of this, not for any pity, but to say that since the new year has started, my focus has definitely been on me, my family, and all of our "issues". I have noticed that in my life when I keep my focus on myself I tend to get hurt more and I take things way more personally than I should. This month I have felt used, abused, abandoned, hurt, left out, and stretched beyond what I wanted. But, I have also felt loved, cared for, missed and very blessed by my husband and friends. I know, how can I have all of those things? Well it is easy. This week started a new month, and with it came a thumping from the Holy Spirit. He showed me where my focus has been, and even though I have not been focused on the things I should have, He has still blessed me and taken care of me. I can truly say that January 2010, I can only see one set of footprints in the sand, and they are not mine! I want my focus to be only on Jesus! I want to live my life glorifying Him, and praising Him in all I do. I want people to see only Him in me when they look at me and talk to me. No more Tammie, only Jesus! Thank you Jesus for loving me even when I don't deserve it. Thank you Jesus for giving up your life so that I may live. Thank you for healing me when I doubted, and for meeting with me just because I asked. Jesus, I love you, and I give you all that I am. "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" Psalm 150:6

December

It has been a hard December for me. There has been some things going on that have been stretching me beyond what I thought I could handle. I am thankful that God does not leave me nor forsake me and that He does not give me more than I can handle, but it has still been tough. I was watching the movie "One night with the king" and something struck me this time. The lady playing Ester said "perhaps instead of asking questions of our trials, our trials are meant to ask questions of ourselves?" I know that this has really changed the way I have thought about my trials this past month. I have let the Lord begin to search my heart and I want nothing more than to grow through all of this. He has showed me so many things this past week that I am still trying to process them. I know that this too shall pass, but I am now to a point where I am thankful for my trials this last month because it is making me a stronger person and I am becoming more dependent on the Lord, and not myself. I am beginning to trust Him more and go to Him with everything both good and bad. He wants to hear it all, and that is something I am not used to doing. So, I am excited to see where He is going to take me this new year!