December

It has been a hard December for me. There has been some things going on that have been stretching me beyond what I thought I could handle. I am thankful that God does not leave me nor forsake me and that He does not give me more than I can handle, but it has still been tough. I was watching the movie "One night with the king" and something struck me this time. The lady playing Ester said "perhaps instead of asking questions of our trials, our trials are meant to ask questions of ourselves?" I know that this has really changed the way I have thought about my trials this past month. I have let the Lord begin to search my heart and I want nothing more than to grow through all of this. He has showed me so many things this past week that I am still trying to process them. I know that this too shall pass, but I am now to a point where I am thankful for my trials this last month because it is making me a stronger person and I am becoming more dependent on the Lord, and not myself. I am beginning to trust Him more and go to Him with everything both good and bad. He wants to hear it all, and that is something I am not used to doing. So, I am excited to see where He is going to take me this new year!

Confession

Monday morning I woke up to discover that my cold had come back. I tried all day not to let it affect me, but in the end it did. Monday evening at my class I learned about changing my circumstances. About not dwelling in them and accepting what the enemy has brought against me, or whispered into my ears, but to move forward and to change them. Anyway, this week, even though I have not felt good at all, I have not let that stop me with my house work. So today, I exploded! I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it was going down hill fast. I began to grumble and complain about my circumstances, about not feeling good, and still having to do everything myself like there was nobody else here in my house. Well, my good friend directed me back to a note she sent me earlier this week. About how grumbling and complaining is against Him, God Himself, and we will take our families into the wilderness with the grumbling and complaining. I share this to say, I quickly changed my words and my attitude toward my day and circumstances. Shortly after talking with my friend, the atmosphere in my house was better because I took my focus off of me and my situation and focused on Him, the one who created me and won't give me anything I can't handle. So, thank you my friend, and thank you Jesus for loving me so much - I love you too!

In whom do I trust?

My devotional this morning really gave me some things to think about. Some of the things He has laid on my heart today are questions He wants me to answer. Am I seeking His purpose in everything? Am I convinced that He can do anything? Am I more desirous of His work and will being done through my life than I am of being heald of my hardship? I thought I knew the answers to these questions but today I believe the Lord wants to know what is truely in my heart and wants me to know what I truely believe. So today I am just praying and seeking my heart and my Lord so that I know what I truely believe and won't have any second guesses or questions. Lord please be with me and guide my day today. I love you Lord, Tammie

Under my feet!

My house has been really crazy, in a good way. We have some extra friends staying with us and it has been lots of fun. The thing is, Satin has been attacking my husband and I. It took me until the middle of the morning to figure it out. Every time my husband and I had a conversation we would end up having some very intense fellowship. Another words, we would say some things to each other that definitely weren't uplifting or encouraging to each other. So I did get up and manage to have some quiet time with the Lord and during my prayer time I prayed for everyone and that there would be peace in this house. Then, satin attacked full force. Well, I was ready and I had him right where I wanted him, under my feet. I don't always remember that the Lord has put us over him and we have that authority to step on his head, so that is what I did. I brought it to my husbands attention and we started praying. God is good! He has taken care of it and my husband and I are doing great again. I know it is a change to have so many people here in our small home, but we love our friends and would do anything for them. We are praying they are having a wonderful time while they are away and we can't wait to talk to them tonight! Thank you Lord, for being there and for reminding me that I have the authority to take what the enemy has stolen from me and I can stomp him out of my life!

What a great visual!

This morning the Lord gave me such a great visual. I have always known this, but He showed me so personally this morning that it was like hearing it for the first time. He showed me that He stoops down to talk to me, to listen to me, to correct me, to heal me, or just to be with me. When I need Him, He is right there, stooping down to make sure I know He is there. He stoops low enough to put his cheek on mine, or to feel His breath on my face. That is just so amazing to me. That He loves me, and you, enough to do that for me each and every time I need Him. Even when I don't have enough strength to go on, He stoops down just to give me the strength to go on. Even more amazing is that He can and will do that for anyone who will call on His name. Anytime or anyplace He will be there for you and for me. He does this because He loves us, just because He loves us. Amazing! Father, I never want to not feel your breath on my face, or be in a place where You won't stoop down for me. I hope this encourages anyone today who reads this. He will stoop for you too, just whisper His name and He will be there for you, putting his cheek on your forehead to make sure you are okay.

Blessed are those who mourn...

I know, what a topic, but this was my devotional this morning. The verse is in Matthew 5:4 and it says "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted". As I read this I was wondering what God was going to say to me through it because I didn't think I was in a mourning or grieving state. This was just it, He was showing me through this devotional that I have become hardened to sin in certain areas of my life and that really made me sad. I have changed many of my ways in the past few years such as not watching television or movies that have bad language, sexual content or violence in it, so this was such a surprise to me this morning. I don't want to lose my ability to grieve, to weep or to mourn. I don't want to become so calloused that I look at sin or pain and remain unmoved. I pray that I am able to be close enough to my Father that I hear His heartbeat for the world and that my heart stay tender. I want to continue to draw close to Him and seek comfort and peace in His name.

Exciting!

It is so exciting to see the Lord working. We had to replace the sliding glass door last week and decided to replace the curtains too. We bought new curtains this weekend and hung them the other night to find they area all about 3 inches different. So we returned them and I decided to make them. Well, I was at JoAnn Fabrics yesterday with my kids and we were having trouble finding colors to match what we wanted. I said a soft prayer of Lord, please help and then my daughter who is 6 started just belting out this prayer for help. It was so amazing. It brought tears to my eyes as she just went on and on. Well, God is good because He answered her prayer. She was so excited and I was even more excited to see God working in her. I can't wait to see what He is going to do today!

What do I rely on?

My devotional this morning was on do I have the slightest reliance on anything other that God? Am I sufficiently right with god to expect Him to manifest His wonderful life in me? Do I really let God be to me all that He says He will be? This really got me thinking and a little discouraged to begin with. I started praying and seeking the Lord and He had me read anther devotional I normally keep for later in my day. This one reminded me that God chose me! He adopted me as His very own child. He redeemed me through the blood of His only begotten son so that I became His very own possession. He sealed me with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14). So after all that I still got to wondering are there areas in my life that I haven't completely turned over to Him? The answer is yes. And it is in these areas that I am struggling to believe that He will be all that He says He will be or do for me in them. Thank you Lord for showing me these today. I am trusting in You to help me over come them. Your love is so amazing that I can hardly comprehend it. Let the assurance of Your presence and commitment wash over me moment by moment today. That is the closing prayer in my devotional and I want to make it my prayer today too.