Wednesday, February 3, 2010

My Focus?

This new year has been a strange year so far for me. My focus seems to be changing, and I am having a hard time keeping focused on any one task. Lets recap January... my youngest son had a double ear infection for over 3 weeks, with two different medications, and still has some congestion trying to escape his body. My oldest son has been healed of his asthma, but got a cold two weeks ago that gave him asthma symptoms and now has a cough that will not go away. My husband had an infection in root under a tooth in his mouth from an old root canal he had done over 15 years ago. He went to a specialist, got the infection cleared out and has to go back next week to get the cap replaced on the tooth. I have been dealing with a cough and congestion for over a month now and am on my second round of medications to clear it out. My daughter, praise the Lord, has not been touched by any sickness! Last week I found out that my 46 year old cousin died unexpectedly, and we are not sure why. Now, I share all of this, not for any pity, but to say that since the new year has started, my focus has definitely been on me, my family, and all of our "issues". I have noticed that in my life when I keep my focus on myself I tend to get hurt more and I take things way more personally than I should. This month I have felt used, abused, abandoned, hurt, left out, and stretched beyond what I wanted. But, I have also felt loved, cared for, missed and very blessed by my husband and friends. I know, how can I have all of those things? Well it is easy. This week started a new month, and with it came a thumping from the Holy Spirit. He showed me where my focus has been, and even though I have not been focused on the things I should have, He has still blessed me and taken care of me. I can truly say that January 2010, I can only see one set of footprints in the sand, and they are not mine! I want my focus to be only on Jesus! I want to live my life glorifying Him, and praising Him in all I do. I want people to see only Him in me when they look at me and talk to me. No more Tammie, only Jesus! Thank you Jesus for loving me even when I don't deserve it. Thank you Jesus for giving up your life so that I may live. Thank you for healing me when I doubted, and for meeting with me just because I asked. Jesus, I love you, and I give you all that I am. "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" Psalm 150:6

2 comments:

Bill and Christina said...

I am sorry that I have hurt you and made you feel left out. And all the other things I am sure I have made you feel. I hope that in time you can forgive me:)

Kathy C. said...

Sometimes it's hard not to take things personally. There are some people who have ugliness in their hearts and it comes spilling out on other people. Keep your focus on Jesus and his love.