December

It has been a hard December for me. There has been some things going on that have been stretching me beyond what I thought I could handle. I am thankful that God does not leave me nor forsake me and that He does not give me more than I can handle, but it has still been tough. I was watching the movie "One night with the king" and something struck me this time. The lady playing Ester said "perhaps instead of asking questions of our trials, our trials are meant to ask questions of ourselves?" I know that this has really changed the way I have thought about my trials this past month. I have let the Lord begin to search my heart and I want nothing more than to grow through all of this. He has showed me so many things this past week that I am still trying to process them. I know that this too shall pass, but I am now to a point where I am thankful for my trials this last month because it is making me a stronger person and I am becoming more dependent on the Lord, and not myself. I am beginning to trust Him more and go to Him with everything both good and bad. He wants to hear it all, and that is something I am not used to doing. So, I am excited to see where He is going to take me this new year!

Choo Choo...

Our youngest son Elijah is totally into Thomas the train. This past Saturday our family, my parents, sister and nephew all went on a train ride. It was the first time I had ever been on a train, and the kids were so excited. The look on all of their faces when the train pulled up was priceless, but the look on Elijah's face, well it was just precious. He could not believe that a train was coming and he was going to get on it. The entire trip he kept saying "choo choo" and was loving being on it. The train traveled about 1/2 hour and then stopped at "Santa land". The kids all got their pictures taken with Santa and Mrs. Clause and then we got back on the train to head home. We had hot chocolate, cookies, and there were elves doing some tricks during the journey. Here are a few pictures I wanted to share with you. We had such a great time. Oh, everyday we get up, Elijah asks if we can go on the choo choo again! It was so worth it, and he is going to get a "Thomas" kind of Christmas too. I am excited for all the gifts we are giving, and for all my kids, but I think I am really excited for him. It just seems to kind of all go together this year. Maybe it is just because he is only 2 and is really getting it this year. I don't know, but I do know that I can't wait for next week!

What are you waiting for?

This morning in church our pastor was talking about "a gift worth waiting for." What a great question. There are so many things that I am waiting on, just like every other person on this planet. As a mother, I am finding that my time is sometimes consumed with things I am waiting for, especially when it comes to my children. I have not been sick these past several days, and I have been sleeping every opportunity I get. Well, it has caught up with me and I am now wide awake with my thoughts so please bear with me.


This morning when my pastor asked us what it was we were waiting for, my thoughts immediately went to a situation that has been going on in my life for 19 months. He asked us to "slow down and affirm that God is in control. Immerse myself in His presence and to trust in His plan." That is the summed up version, but it really hit home with me. I sometimes get so into this situation, that I try to take it into my own hands, and not let God stay in control. During these past 19 months, have I immersed myself in His presence so I don't miss out on His blessings during this trial? Not completely, but I have tried. Do I really trust in His plan? Do I really know His plan for this situation? I am not asking for answers, just saying what has been on my mind these past several hours.


I want to live my life so that every day, no matter what I am waiting for, I am worshiping God through my words and actions. My thoughts too! I want be bold in my faith, and walk in obedience to what He has told me. I know that I have missed the mark in many areas during this time, but I also know that He has great plans for me this week. I am so excited to see the hand of God move in me and through me that I am not sure how I am going to make it. I know this is probably not even making sense, as I am not able to share all of the details yet, but know that what ever you are waiting for, the Lord is right there with you. His timing is perfect, and it is just that, His timing. I know, sometimes we get so focused on the end result and what is going on, or not going on, that we loose our focus. I know I have during these long 19 months, but I also know that I am a better person for it too because I recognize my short comings and I have repented for them. No more am I going to dwell on the areas that I have failed, or the opportunities I have missed. I am pressing in to Him, and with His strength I am going to move forward and be prepared for the situations that lay before me. I will enter these situations with confidence in Jesus because with Him nothing is impossible!

I want to leave you with the words to a song. I have tried to post it, but not having any success. "I'm waiting... I'm waiting on you Lord. I am hopeful... I'm waiting on you Lord. Though it is painful... patiently, I will wait. I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience... while I'm waiting." John Waller

A prayer!

The past several months my heart has been heavy. I have been searching for something and not even sure how to explain it to you. I am so thankful I have a God who sees and knows what I am in need of and meets with me just because He wants to. I know I have experienced the Love of God, and that He lives in me like He has never before. The past few days I have been praying this prayer, I have made it mine, and I would like to share it with you. When you read it, put your name in and claim it as yours too. Every time I read it, I get something new out of it, and I pray that He will move in you as you make it your own today.

Ephesians 3:14-21

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant (me), according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in (my) heart through faith; that (I), being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and lenght and depth and height, to know the love of christ which passes knowledge; that (I) may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that (I) ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

What does it mean?

I have been in a place lately that I don't want to be in anymore. I have also realized that the only way to get out of it is to get up and change. So, I am. This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! A few years ago I went to a conference with my mom to see Anne Graham Lotz (Billy Grahams daughter). That conference changed my thinking on how to study the Bible. I have been wanting to get back into the word, but not have everyone's opinion or interpretation on the passage of scripture that I am studying. Now, don't get me wrong, they are very helpful and I like them, but at this point I am wanting to just dig into the Word and study it for me. I want the Holy Spirit to be my teacher and show me what He wants me to know and teach me the lessons that He wants to teach me. I have been very blessed by the devotionals I have been reading, and will keep them to encourage me in those times that I need extra encouragement, or am running short on time. So, for any of you that are interested in studying the word just as it is and what it means to you here is a site you can go and Anne will teach you how to do it. It is really easy and I love it!

http://www.annegrahamlotz.com/resources/topic/learning-hear-his-voice/

Lesson learned!

My five year old son is growing up so fast, that sometimes I don't realize that he is more aware of what is going on than I realize. Sunday he said to me that he was in love with a little girl in his church class. So I asked him what that meant to be in love with her, and he said "well she smiled at me and it made me feel good so I smiled back at her." Anyway, we talked about what it meant to be in love and how he had plenty of time, but it was good that he smiled back at her and to be nice to her. So, I saw her mom last night at church and shared this story with her. Her mom thought it was so cute too. Well, Tra was not happy with me. He asked me why I shared that with her, so I told him that I thought it was such a great story that I wanted to share it with her mommy. That did not matter, I had already broken his heart. So, I got down on my knees and asked him to forgive me, and he did. Anyway, I think it broke my heart more than it broke his because I realized several things. First, that he is growing up and this was really important to him. Second, that I broke his trust in him, and I never want to do that again. Three, the next time I have a great story to share about one of my kids I need to make sure it is a story I can share. Anyway, I learned many lessons last night, but the best part is, Tra is not upset with me and because he is a 5 year old boy, he moved on pretty quickly. Today he is back in love with his Mom and I that makes it all worth it!

Why do I...

Take things on that I don't need to take on? Matthew 11:28-30 says "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." If I take His yoke then I am giving Him my yoke, so then I should have the easier load right? Then why is it that I have such a hard time taking His yoke? I think it is because I don't take the time to give it to Him. That I am too focused on what is going on to even realize that I am taking over and not letting Jesus take it on, like He wants to. Anyway, this is something that I was thinking about this morning and wanted to share my thoughts. I know this much, I need His rest, and I want to carry His yoke, because I need a lighter one to carry. Lord, I pray that you continue to show me when I am not turning my yoke over to You and picking up Yours instead. Father, I thank You for revealing this to me and for showing me how to turn it over to You. Lord, I pray that you continue to give me Your strength and desires, and I will continue to give You all the Praise!

Thankful!

There have been many people talking lately about the things they are thankful for. Since it is getting close to Thanksgiving I guess it is a reminder of all the things we are thankful for. My neighbor had cataracts surgery and neither of her boys or their wives were able to help her out, so we picked her up after her surgery yesterday and took her to her follow up appointment this morning. I am telling you this because it is the same building that I had surgery on my foot about 20 years ago. I remember being so nervous and comforted because my Mom was there with me. It just got me to thinking that I am so thankful for my family. My parents and sister has been there for me while I was growing up, and are still here if and when I need them. Now I have my husband and my children who will be here to help me when I need them. I am thankful to have a husband who is supportive and encouraging. He is such a blessing and I am so thankful for him. Anyway, today is a day that I wanted to share a little bit about what I am thankful for and maybe hear something you are thankful for as well.

Move????

I was going through a stack of papers the other night trying to decide if I can just throw them away or if I need to shred them. I came across a saying on the top of one of them that has really got me to thinking. It said "I just moved you, now you move Me." I can think of many ways that God has moved me, and how He is moving in my life. I am wondering if I am moving Him and what does that really mean? The Bible says to pray "on earth as it is in Heaven" and I am realizing that I have been too caught up in my world and not trying to get Him here on earth. I want to be moved by Him, but more that that I want to move Him. I want the enemy to know that I am serious when I speak, and to take the authority back that God has given to me. I want to walk in His presence so much that God moves in others lives just because He is right there with me. Lord, thank you for this time of discovery and for showing me things in my life.

Here I go again...

I have finally come to the understanding that I have way too much stuff. I can't seem to keep up with it at all. I am going to start purging yet again I think. I have been thinking about this all weekend as I have had lots of time with a sick child, but I can't even have my kids help with what I want them to because we have too much stuff for our little house. So, today is the start of a new week, and with that a new plan of attack. Not only are we going to work on our new school routine, and the kids are going to start their new duties, but I am going to go through the house room by room and start getting rid of more stuff. I am actually very excited about this because I think it is going to help with stress levels in our home. Also, I think that in order for us to have any more children in our home we will need space for them to be here, so I am preparing my fields for rain!