Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My confession

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time being completely honest sometimes. Like when someone says "how are you?" and I am really not good, but I say that I am good anyway. Why do I do this? Most of the time I think I do this just because I don't really want to talk about my life or where I am at right that moment with that person. It is nothing personal, but it is something that I think many people do, but that does not make it right. Anyway, I really want to share with you about me right now, at this very moment. I accepted Christ when I was 8 years old and it has been a journey ever since. There were things in my life that happened to me before I came to know Him that did not stop even when I accepted Him and as an adult I did not understand why. Today I can say that I understand that it is who I am and it helped to create the person I am today. Without Christ back then, I would not be who I am today because I made better choices than I probably would have. Anyway, I am not here today to talk about my past. I wanted to share this part because I have followed Christ for over 20 years now and today it is a struggle for me and I am not sure why. Deep down I really do love Him, but I am not spending any time with Him and it is really beginning to affect every area of my life. I was reading a devotional this morning and it was talking about being luke warm. "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:15-16 (NIV) This really hit me, I am luke warm and have been for a while now too. I don't want to be luke warm, I want to have the fire and passion that I once had. The only reason I am not this way is me, because I have changed, because I have stopped spending time with my Father, because I have stopped having a love relationship with my Lord. I want this to change, so I am going to have to change it. I am holding onto some truths from my past that are no longer truths for me now and this must stop. I no longer am going to listen to the lies of the enemy and be bound up by these thoughts and beliefs. I am royalty because I am the daughter of the King of Kings, so this makes me at the very least a princess. So today begins the day that I am Princess Tammie, daughter of the Most High, and my journey back to being in love with Him again. Thank you Lord for this revelation this morning and for helping find my way back to You!


Kathy C. said...

Thank you for your honesty. I think we have all times when we are less on fire than others. I haven't thought of it as being lukewarm but it probably is. Did you read what he said about each church? One lost its first love, one endured through persecution.... I can't remember all seven but I've always wondered what he'd think of the churches now days.

Bill and Christina said...

Remember Tammie that there are the facts and then there is God's truth that you must speak over the facts. Facts and God's truth are tow totally different things! Lukewarm is not something that I want to be either and we have to be careful not to let the enemy lull us to sleep. You can over come this you ARE a Child of the Most High! Be determined and steadfast!
I love ya and you know that I am here for you!